So here's the thing; not everyone likes kids. Sure, there is no disputing that some of them are adorable. That can only be explained by some sort of biological adaptation we have so as to be more inclined to protect and not kill them. Having an "awwww its so cute" moment in no way should take away from the fact that in general, I, again like many others, do not like kids.
With that in mind, I cannot help but be amazed at the utter stupidity of parents these days. Because I work with the general public, I have to deal with these people daily. I am saddened for the future of the human race if this is the level of reverse evolution we have achieved when one childless person such as myself knows more about child rearing than the average parent.
Here's a tip: If your child is in its "terrible twos," leave the fucker at home. I should not be subjected to their endless need to be making noise. I am not referring to talking. Kids at that age should be trying to communicate as much as possible (and parents should be engaging rather than ignoring, but I digress...). I am referring to the high pitched screams that seem to go on for hours. What is even more mind boggling is that you think it is completely acceptable to force them to hang out in the mall when they clearly cannot handle it while you search for something you do not need.
Here's another tip: No one but you should have to keep tabs on your child. I know picking up the latest video game is SUPER important and all, but maybe insuring your kid isn't getting abducted by the neighborhood perv should be a priority. The last thing you should do is yell at us retail employees because we don't have the answer to the "Where did my kid go?" question. I am not your personal babysitter. Remember when I said I don't like children? I ignore them. It is YOUR job as their parent to pay attention to their whereabouts.
Oh, another tip, you say? When your kid decides to destroy the accessory wall at my store, it is not cute. People have to clean that up and while it may be keeping your kid occupied while you spend the months grocery money on shit you don't need, it is not fair to the minimum wage slave you just made stay an extra hour past their shift. What would you do if your kid started throwing shit around at your house?
Allow me to leave you with this final thought: When innocent bystanders can smell your child's shitty diaper, it is time to go home. That is gross.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Why So Serious?
You know the Twitter hash tag "first world problems?" Kids whining that their high speed internet just isn't fast enough. Or a recent fav, people bitching that they only got a car and not that iPhone they were hoping for on Christmas day (side note, check out this video). Never, though, have I witnessed a more perfect display of someone legitimately distraught over one such problem as I did the other day.
My job consist of helping people with their technological illiteracy. I'm generally a patient person because I understand that a lot of people did not grow up with computers and their ability to understand the way they work is beneath that of my own and my peers. I don't consider myself condescending or judgmental (at least not to their faces).
A few days ago I was approached by a woman, I would put her at roughly 47, with some questions about adding email to her new smartphone. She also wanted some assistance setting up an id to buy things from the phone's app store. It was all set to be one of the easiest things I was going to do all day. In hindsight, I probably should not have even thought that thought.
We decided to start with the creation of a store id. Since she would have to later verify that by email anyway, it was the most logical order. During the creation process, the system alerted us that her ID had already been created. Awesome! That means this is going to be SUPER easy for me. Why do I even get my hopes up? She informs me that she has absolutely no guesses as to what that password could be. Still not the end of the world. We finish the password process and head over to set up the email as the new password has been sent to her inbox.
After entering her email address into the phone's mail client, she begins to just stare at the phone as if willing it to make the next move for her. I desperately wanted to tell her that although the phone is "smart," is it not autonomous. I resisted and asked her to please enter her email password. She looked at me as though I had just murdered her kitten and said, "I thought we just went over that I didn't have that password."
Sigh. "Ma'am, that is a different password all together that we reset. We are now trying to enter whatever password you would use when you go to check your email on your home computer."
"I don't have a password for my email. It just works."
Great. She probably doesn't know THAT password either. "Okay. So that password is stored in your computer for your convenience. However, there is still a password associated with that account. Would you happen to have a guess as to what it is? Or perhaps you wrote it down somewhere?"
Now, a rational human being would react by thinking to themselves, "Well, damn. I should probably reset this password too and maybe keep them written down for safe keeping so this doesn't happen to me again." This woman defied normality.
Her reaction was instead to drop to her knees, in the middle of a busy retail store mind you, and start openly sobbing. If you know me even a little, you know that I am socially retarded. My emotional defense mechanism is to run away when someone else is in pain because I literally do not know how to soothe them.
The end of this story is kind of anti-climactic. I walked away and let her cry in peace.
My job consist of helping people with their technological illiteracy. I'm generally a patient person because I understand that a lot of people did not grow up with computers and their ability to understand the way they work is beneath that of my own and my peers. I don't consider myself condescending or judgmental (at least not to their faces).
A few days ago I was approached by a woman, I would put her at roughly 47, with some questions about adding email to her new smartphone. She also wanted some assistance setting up an id to buy things from the phone's app store. It was all set to be one of the easiest things I was going to do all day. In hindsight, I probably should not have even thought that thought.
We decided to start with the creation of a store id. Since she would have to later verify that by email anyway, it was the most logical order. During the creation process, the system alerted us that her ID had already been created. Awesome! That means this is going to be SUPER easy for me. Why do I even get my hopes up? She informs me that she has absolutely no guesses as to what that password could be. Still not the end of the world. We finish the password process and head over to set up the email as the new password has been sent to her inbox.
After entering her email address into the phone's mail client, she begins to just stare at the phone as if willing it to make the next move for her. I desperately wanted to tell her that although the phone is "smart," is it not autonomous. I resisted and asked her to please enter her email password. She looked at me as though I had just murdered her kitten and said, "I thought we just went over that I didn't have that password."
Sigh. "Ma'am, that is a different password all together that we reset. We are now trying to enter whatever password you would use when you go to check your email on your home computer."
"I don't have a password for my email. It just works."
Great. She probably doesn't know THAT password either. "Okay. So that password is stored in your computer for your convenience. However, there is still a password associated with that account. Would you happen to have a guess as to what it is? Or perhaps you wrote it down somewhere?"
Now, a rational human being would react by thinking to themselves, "Well, damn. I should probably reset this password too and maybe keep them written down for safe keeping so this doesn't happen to me again." This woman defied normality.
Her reaction was instead to drop to her knees, in the middle of a busy retail store mind you, and start openly sobbing. If you know me even a little, you know that I am socially retarded. My emotional defense mechanism is to run away when someone else is in pain because I literally do not know how to soothe them.
The end of this story is kind of anti-climactic. I walked away and let her cry in peace.
Friday, December 30, 2011
The Internet Does Not Make You Smart.
Don't get me wrong; I am a fan of the internet After all, without it, I wouldn't have this wonderful place to house my rants! What I hate about the internet (well, besides its ability to render a generation nearly illiterate in less than a decade...) is its leniency. Anyone with half a brain can post a website and assert their authority on a given subject and the uneducated masses suddenly take their word as fact.
With the endless stream of (often incorrect) information floating around, your over zealous, self proclaimed "geek" will spend copious amounts of time web surfing and then come in to a store to try to "test" the employee, aka ME. This annoys me to no end. Not because I do not have the answer. Not because I get embarrassed if I do not, in fact, have the answer. Certainly not because I am afraid of being tested. No, it annoys me because your answer is often the most ludicrous answer I have ever heard and being a thick headed moron who believes anything he/she reads on the internet, he/she will not back down despite the evidence contrary to his/her belief.
I have one or two of these people a day and it would please me more than I can express to punch them in their smug little faces. I do not give a shit if @TheRealBillGates or @TheRealTimCook (made up Twitter handles. All accuracies are completely coincidental.) said on Twitter that their company is releasing a computer tomorrow that shoots laser beams. I do not sell that product because it doesn't exist. You standing in front of me arguing about it is not to going produce said HYPOTHETICAL product out of thin air.
Furthermore, I do not give a shit if your mother's friend's brother's sister's girlfriend's dog's owner's collegue's aunt's grammie's uncle's wife's boss's son said that if you do x-y-z you can turn your cell phone into a taser gun and your mother's friend's brother's sister's girlfriend's dog's owner's collegue's aunt's grammie's uncle's wife's boss's son read on the internet how to accomplish this task so you now demand that I show you this feat because it ISN'T REAL!
Pulling your "I read it on the internet" elitist bullshit on me is not going to work. I have the internet too, bitches. I also have the common sense to know when something is a rumor and when something holds weight. You are not making me look stupid, but holding your ground when you are oh so obviously wrong makes you look like a stubborn fool.
Here is a tip, really consider the content you are reading before you go spouting off at the mouth to people who may actually know what they are talking about. Maybe entertain the possibility that the original information you absorbed was incorrect.
But hell, what do I know? I'm just typing it on the internet.
With the endless stream of (often incorrect) information floating around, your over zealous, self proclaimed "geek" will spend copious amounts of time web surfing and then come in to a store to try to "test" the employee, aka ME. This annoys me to no end. Not because I do not have the answer. Not because I get embarrassed if I do not, in fact, have the answer. Certainly not because I am afraid of being tested. No, it annoys me because your answer is often the most ludicrous answer I have ever heard and being a thick headed moron who believes anything he/she reads on the internet, he/she will not back down despite the evidence contrary to his/her belief.
I have one or two of these people a day and it would please me more than I can express to punch them in their smug little faces. I do not give a shit if @TheRealBillGates or @TheRealTimCook (made up Twitter handles. All accuracies are completely coincidental.) said on Twitter that their company is releasing a computer tomorrow that shoots laser beams. I do not sell that product because it doesn't exist. You standing in front of me arguing about it is not to going produce said HYPOTHETICAL product out of thin air.
Furthermore, I do not give a shit if your mother's friend's brother's sister's girlfriend's dog's owner's collegue's aunt's grammie's uncle's wife's boss's son said that if you do x-y-z you can turn your cell phone into a taser gun and your mother's friend's brother's sister's girlfriend's dog's owner's collegue's aunt's grammie's uncle's wife's boss's son read on the internet how to accomplish this task so you now demand that I show you this feat because it ISN'T REAL!
Pulling your "I read it on the internet" elitist bullshit on me is not going to work. I have the internet too, bitches. I also have the common sense to know when something is a rumor and when something holds weight. You are not making me look stupid, but holding your ground when you are oh so obviously wrong makes you look like a stubborn fool.
Here is a tip, really consider the content you are reading before you go spouting off at the mouth to people who may actually know what they are talking about. Maybe entertain the possibility that the original information you absorbed was incorrect.
But hell, what do I know? I'm just typing it on the internet.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Say It, Don't Spray It.
I am not grossed out very easily. I can watch an undead human delightfully consume the entrails of another human in zombie flicks and not flinch. I have discovered that the one thing that sends me gagging is getting spat on by a stranger.
As the spitter, do you hope the other person doesn't realize what just happened, or do you do bring those droplets of spittle to the forefront of the conversation? I can say as the frequent recipient of this disgusting occurrence that I would at least like an acknowledgement followed by an admission of embarrassment and remorse. I mean, at the very least, crack a joke about it but do not pretend it didn't happen.
Working in the customer service industry requires me to be polite and on my best behavior. Does that require me to suppress my disgust with the fact that your bodily fluid had now found a home on my skin? Am I allowed to awkwardly wipe the droplets off, or is that impolite? Would it be going too far if I freaked out and excused myself to shower?
The moral of the story folks, "Keep it in your mouth." And yes, that IS what she said.
Friday, November 11, 2011
PSA for Dickheads
Have you ever heard the phrase, "You'll catch more flies with honey"? Why one would want a collection of flies is beyond me, but I'm guessing that isn't quite the point. I believe it is insinuating that by being nice you are more likely to get what you want. (And if I'm wrong this entire post has just failed!)
I wish we could hang that on a sign at every entrance at every business just to remind people they should stop being dickheads.
Take, for instance, the douchetool that decided screaming at me while a mere three fingers length from my face was the best way to get what he wanted. If you're reading, Supreme Douche of Douchebaggary, I would like you to know it had just the opposite effect. I knew I couldn't break your nose (which was what I wanted so badly) and keep the job I love so I really just wanted to do anything UNhelpful. Don't fuck with the people who can help you (or who make your food).
I get it, you went to a different store (not a different location of the same company, but a different retailer all together) and they told you to come here, but you have to ask yourself is it me who is the fool because we cannot perform the task they said we could, or is it your dumb ass for taking the words of a non *insert company I work for* employee as gold? I'm definitely thinking the latter.
My solution to your temper tantrum? Well, I tried to draw a parallel between your behavior and that of something else to figure out how to deal. Hm. What could it be? Suddenly, it came to me! You are acting remarkably like a 2 year old who was just told "no" to some candy at the grocery store. And what does Mom do when you're throwing a fit? She blatantly ignores you and goes on about her business until you cry so much you wear yourself out.
Maybe not the best solution for the customer, but trust me sir, it was the best solution for your face, you entitled piece of shit. :)
So, in closing, I would like to encourage all of you fellow consumers to ask yourself one question when making the decision to talk to a customer service employee, "Is this a dick move?" If you just tweak your behavior slightly, you'll get what you want and we will be less likely to become the next postal worker.
Thank you and enjoy the show.
I wish we could hang that on a sign at every entrance at every business just to remind people they should stop being dickheads.
Take, for instance, the douchetool that decided screaming at me while a mere three fingers length from my face was the best way to get what he wanted. If you're reading, Supreme Douche of Douchebaggary, I would like you to know it had just the opposite effect. I knew I couldn't break your nose (which was what I wanted so badly) and keep the job I love so I really just wanted to do anything UNhelpful. Don't fuck with the people who can help you (or who make your food).
I get it, you went to a different store (not a different location of the same company, but a different retailer all together) and they told you to come here, but you have to ask yourself is it me who is the fool because we cannot perform the task they said we could, or is it your dumb ass for taking the words of a non *insert company I work for* employee as gold? I'm definitely thinking the latter.
My solution to your temper tantrum? Well, I tried to draw a parallel between your behavior and that of something else to figure out how to deal. Hm. What could it be? Suddenly, it came to me! You are acting remarkably like a 2 year old who was just told "no" to some candy at the grocery store. And what does Mom do when you're throwing a fit? She blatantly ignores you and goes on about her business until you cry so much you wear yourself out.
Maybe not the best solution for the customer, but trust me sir, it was the best solution for your face, you entitled piece of shit. :)
So, in closing, I would like to encourage all of you fellow consumers to ask yourself one question when making the decision to talk to a customer service employee, "Is this a dick move?" If you just tweak your behavior slightly, you'll get what you want and we will be less likely to become the next postal worker.
Thank you and enjoy the show.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Can I Get a New Sandwich Please?
In my many years in the wonderful world of retail I have had a lot of demanding customers. People always think they are the most important person in the establishment. Some requests are completely unreasonable, others make sense.
Every once in awhile I hang up my sales specialist cap and put on my customer cap. I tend to think that having the horrible experiences I've had makes me an ideal customer. Apparently the wonderful employees of a sandwich shop in the mall where I work did not think so.
I usually pack my lunch. It's cheaper and frankly I'm kind of picky. This day I was running late so I had to skip the packing and succumb to the food in our mediocre food court.
I chose the sub shop in an effort to try to be a little healthier. Big mistake.
There was one person ahead of me in line and probably 4 employees. The point is there was no rush and they weren't busy. I also have a pretty simple request; turkey, lettuce, tomato, cucumber and mustard. Simple. And only two customers.
As the girl in front of me patiently awaited our lunch, her name was called. About a minute later, she returns with an unwrapped, bitten from sandwich. They inadvertently gave her my sandwich when hers was in the toaster. No biggie.
Until the sandwich gal attempted to throw that sandwich in a new bag and give it to me. Ew.
I'm positive that broke a hundred different OSHA regulations. The other customer and I exchanged worried looks. If they are willing to give a customer a bitten from sandwich, what other health violations are they willing to overlook?!
I politely asked for a new sandwich. Mind you, I had already burned half of my lunch break because only one person was actually making sandwiches. That considered, I think I was being pretty damned patient. Until she audibly sighed at my request. Bitch.
Needless to say, she refused to make my sandwich. Apparently I was being unreasonable. Pretty sure they should have given me my sandwich free but I was too exhausted to fight. At least this one wasn't bitten out of.....
Every once in awhile I hang up my sales specialist cap and put on my customer cap. I tend to think that having the horrible experiences I've had makes me an ideal customer. Apparently the wonderful employees of a sandwich shop in the mall where I work did not think so.
I usually pack my lunch. It's cheaper and frankly I'm kind of picky. This day I was running late so I had to skip the packing and succumb to the food in our mediocre food court.
I chose the sub shop in an effort to try to be a little healthier. Big mistake.
There was one person ahead of me in line and probably 4 employees. The point is there was no rush and they weren't busy. I also have a pretty simple request; turkey, lettuce, tomato, cucumber and mustard. Simple. And only two customers.
As the girl in front of me patiently awaited our lunch, her name was called. About a minute later, she returns with an unwrapped, bitten from sandwich. They inadvertently gave her my sandwich when hers was in the toaster. No biggie.
Until the sandwich gal attempted to throw that sandwich in a new bag and give it to me. Ew.
I'm positive that broke a hundred different OSHA regulations. The other customer and I exchanged worried looks. If they are willing to give a customer a bitten from sandwich, what other health violations are they willing to overlook?!
I politely asked for a new sandwich. Mind you, I had already burned half of my lunch break because only one person was actually making sandwiches. That considered, I think I was being pretty damned patient. Until she audibly sighed at my request. Bitch.
Needless to say, she refused to make my sandwich. Apparently I was being unreasonable. Pretty sure they should have given me my sandwich free but I was too exhausted to fight. At least this one wasn't bitten out of.....
Monday, October 3, 2011
Hey! Now That You're Gone....
Hi, friends! Here's an update: I left my job! Gasp! I did it! And it feels great. Have no fear for I will not allow it to impede my ability to keep your bellies contracting with laughter. I accepted a position with another company and I am quickly learning that the stupidity of mankind is a constant. In fact, here's a hilarious one.
Unfortunately, fear of libel, slander and defamation law suits prevent me from stating the name of my former employer. I think that picturing any big box retailer will suffice for those of you who don't know me personally.
Anyhow, it has been roughly 3 weeks since I left my job. Today I trotted happily to my mailbox to see what surprises lurked. Would it be another coupon enticing me to spend money I don't have? Would it be those pesky utility companies outrageously demanding I actually pay to use things like water and electricity (pfft! The audacity of some people!)? To my astonishment, there was a letter from my former employer asking me to complete a survey regarding my wasted six years with them. Let's fill it out together!
"How well did we train you for your position?"
Hmm. Let's see. Well, your scale doesn't allow for verbatim comments. That's a shame. I have to rate on a five point scale from "Very Poor" to "Extremely Well." Let's first refer back to an earlier blog post of mine entitled Me No English So Good. If you cannot take the time to properly spell and grammar check my learnings, how much do you really care about my training and development? When I expressed the desire to learn about other processes and departments within in the store something always came up to get in the way of said training. Lest we forget the 4 home theater installs I was supposed to get to go observe that mysteriously got cancelled for one reason or the other. Overall, I'd say your training blew limp dicks.
"Do you feel like you were supported by your leadership team?"
Wow. This might be my favorite. Unfortunately it is yet again limited to the five point system. I have had the esteemed (dis)pleasure of working at two different stores. The first store was filled with a management team with delusions of infallibility. The store's failures were not due to their piss poor managing skills. Of course not. It was due to the the line level employees and supervisors who worked their asses off every day to handle all problems on their own because you all were too busy locking yourselves in conference rooms or making sure YouTube was fully functional on all employee computers. Kudos.
The second store was full of managers who came from other big box retailers that had failed. Hm. Why was this a good idea? Clearly their managing skills were not that great if the entire company went under. So I knew that if I had a concern or question about what I was supposed to do, I could absolutely, without a doubt count on my leadership team to NOT have the answers. Hey, thanks for being worthless! (I do feel compelled to say that out of both teams, there were two managers who knew how to do their job and were absolutely not worthless. Unfortunately, they were looked down upon by the rest of the management staff. Fail.)
"Did you feel like you were supported by your General Manager?"
Ha. These questions just keep getting better and better! I must question why these are not positioned as verbatim questions. Probably because you already know the answers will be negative.... But I digress. I've had two GMs. Both of whom absolutely did not have my back or any of their employee's backs. Well, unless they were their old high school buddies. Then, sure!
My first GM poured more bullshit down everyone's throat to try to get them motivated to do more work for less money and zero chance of promotion. He also had a pretty big head when it came to boundaries of what he could tell me I was allowed to do. Hey, jackass, I'll blog if I want to. I'm sure he's a cool guy and all, truthfully, but as a GM, you blow.
My second GM was even worse. He barely talked to anyone. He was on his cell phone 99% of the time you saw him. And he had the audacity to insinuate that it was MY fault that he employed a shitty 20 year old to manage a business that accounted for most of the store's revenue resulting in that departments utter failure. It had nothing to do with this kids concern with being a gossipy teenager and turning everyone on each other rather than running a business. Hey, it's not my responsibility to hold anyone's hand through their job and I'm certainly not going to provide anyone else with the answers so THEY get the glory. GMs are worthless.
"Why did you leave *insert company name here*?"
Finally! A question I can type exactly what I want to say! First, take the answers to the above three questions. After you have digested those reasons, allow me to add to it. Not taking the time to develop people into roles they are more than capable of having is 100% YOUR fault. If a hard working, intelligent, capable individual express the desire to do more for you, ACCEPT it! Help them to help you. Don't bring in your frat buddies who you like to reminisce about slamming back brewskies on game day. This is no way to run a company!
Also, have you ever heard the phrase, "You get what you pay for"? Allow me to explain this. If you pay me $9/hr, you will get $9/hr worth of work. This does NOT include doing your work for you. I will do the minimum requirements to not get fired. I'm not entirely sure why this comes as a shock for you. In short, you fail to realize that the people you employee make or break you. Try making them happy for a change.
"If there was one thing we could have changed to keep you, what would that have been?"
I think I've more than adequately listed numerous steps you could have taken to avoid my departure. Allow me to leave you with this thought, "STOP SUCKING!!!!"
"Is there anything else you would like to tell us about working for *insert company name here*?
You successfully wasted six years of my life. Thanks for nothing! The only good thing I got out of you was the occasional free shit and a whole mess of friends who feel the same way I do about your shitty company. They'll probably be filling this survey out in a similar manner soon.
"Would you like to discuss this with an HR manager?"
Why? So that I can get a case number from some dude in India who has no real affiliation with your company? The one time in six whole years I had a legitimate complaint that ate at me so deeply I felt compelled to file a complaint, that was my experience. And because of the language barrier, he filed my complaint as "She does not get along with her GM." Hey, thanks for making me look like a moron, fucktard.
So.....do you think I should send it?
Unfortunately, fear of libel, slander and defamation law suits prevent me from stating the name of my former employer. I think that picturing any big box retailer will suffice for those of you who don't know me personally.
Anyhow, it has been roughly 3 weeks since I left my job. Today I trotted happily to my mailbox to see what surprises lurked. Would it be another coupon enticing me to spend money I don't have? Would it be those pesky utility companies outrageously demanding I actually pay to use things like water and electricity (pfft! The audacity of some people!)? To my astonishment, there was a letter from my former employer asking me to complete a survey regarding my wasted six years with them. Let's fill it out together!
"How well did we train you for your position?"
Hmm. Let's see. Well, your scale doesn't allow for verbatim comments. That's a shame. I have to rate on a five point scale from "Very Poor" to "Extremely Well." Let's first refer back to an earlier blog post of mine entitled Me No English So Good. If you cannot take the time to properly spell and grammar check my learnings, how much do you really care about my training and development? When I expressed the desire to learn about other processes and departments within in the store something always came up to get in the way of said training. Lest we forget the 4 home theater installs I was supposed to get to go observe that mysteriously got cancelled for one reason or the other. Overall, I'd say your training blew limp dicks.
"Do you feel like you were supported by your leadership team?"
Wow. This might be my favorite. Unfortunately it is yet again limited to the five point system. I have had the esteemed (dis)pleasure of working at two different stores. The first store was filled with a management team with delusions of infallibility. The store's failures were not due to their piss poor managing skills. Of course not. It was due to the the line level employees and supervisors who worked their asses off every day to handle all problems on their own because you all were too busy locking yourselves in conference rooms or making sure YouTube was fully functional on all employee computers. Kudos.
The second store was full of managers who came from other big box retailers that had failed. Hm. Why was this a good idea? Clearly their managing skills were not that great if the entire company went under. So I knew that if I had a concern or question about what I was supposed to do, I could absolutely, without a doubt count on my leadership team to NOT have the answers. Hey, thanks for being worthless! (I do feel compelled to say that out of both teams, there were two managers who knew how to do their job and were absolutely not worthless. Unfortunately, they were looked down upon by the rest of the management staff. Fail.)
"Did you feel like you were supported by your General Manager?"
Ha. These questions just keep getting better and better! I must question why these are not positioned as verbatim questions. Probably because you already know the answers will be negative.... But I digress. I've had two GMs. Both of whom absolutely did not have my back or any of their employee's backs. Well, unless they were their old high school buddies. Then, sure!
My first GM poured more bullshit down everyone's throat to try to get them motivated to do more work for less money and zero chance of promotion. He also had a pretty big head when it came to boundaries of what he could tell me I was allowed to do. Hey, jackass, I'll blog if I want to. I'm sure he's a cool guy and all, truthfully, but as a GM, you blow.
My second GM was even worse. He barely talked to anyone. He was on his cell phone 99% of the time you saw him. And he had the audacity to insinuate that it was MY fault that he employed a shitty 20 year old to manage a business that accounted for most of the store's revenue resulting in that departments utter failure. It had nothing to do with this kids concern with being a gossipy teenager and turning everyone on each other rather than running a business. Hey, it's not my responsibility to hold anyone's hand through their job and I'm certainly not going to provide anyone else with the answers so THEY get the glory. GMs are worthless.
"Why did you leave *insert company name here*?"
Finally! A question I can type exactly what I want to say! First, take the answers to the above three questions. After you have digested those reasons, allow me to add to it. Not taking the time to develop people into roles they are more than capable of having is 100% YOUR fault. If a hard working, intelligent, capable individual express the desire to do more for you, ACCEPT it! Help them to help you. Don't bring in your frat buddies who you like to reminisce about slamming back brewskies on game day. This is no way to run a company!
Also, have you ever heard the phrase, "You get what you pay for"? Allow me to explain this. If you pay me $9/hr, you will get $9/hr worth of work. This does NOT include doing your work for you. I will do the minimum requirements to not get fired. I'm not entirely sure why this comes as a shock for you. In short, you fail to realize that the people you employee make or break you. Try making them happy for a change.
"If there was one thing we could have changed to keep you, what would that have been?"
I think I've more than adequately listed numerous steps you could have taken to avoid my departure. Allow me to leave you with this thought, "STOP SUCKING!!!!"
"Is there anything else you would like to tell us about working for *insert company name here*?
You successfully wasted six years of my life. Thanks for nothing! The only good thing I got out of you was the occasional free shit and a whole mess of friends who feel the same way I do about your shitty company. They'll probably be filling this survey out in a similar manner soon.
"Would you like to discuss this with an HR manager?"
Why? So that I can get a case number from some dude in India who has no real affiliation with your company? The one time in six whole years I had a legitimate complaint that ate at me so deeply I felt compelled to file a complaint, that was my experience. And because of the language barrier, he filed my complaint as "She does not get along with her GM." Hey, thanks for making me look like a moron, fucktard.
So.....do you think I should send it?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)